OP NG's!
by Zor
Summary: If OP was adapted into a movie straight from the manga, and there was "no good" scenes, that had to taken out, you'd get this! RUFIANGEL's STORY!!
1. Default Chapter

Hello peoples!!!  
  
Zor here! (Don't laugh Stacey. I'm afraid my alter-ego has taken over.)  
  
Well, I'm posting up this story (except its not a story) and its NOT DONE BY ME!!! It was done by an absolutely brilliant person called Rufi-angel. Trust me, everyone on here has at least heard of this angel!!  
  
I don't know if she knows anything about this, but I guess she'll find out soon enough!!  
  
I had to make up a new account so that if the administrators didn't like what I was doing, then if they deleted this, then they wouldn't delete my other account which has all the stories and reviews that I worked so hard to get. (even so, I think I might go off and print them off so I don't lose them).  
  
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy them, and don't forget to thank Rufiangel! Its all her work!! I have NOTHING to do with them!! NOTHING!!  
  
Thankyou so much Rufiangel for writing these. They are hilarious!!  
  
And now, on with the show! 


	2. NG1

**

The One Piece NGs

**

(a ONE PIECE fanfiction by RufiAngel (website))

**_Hey, what do you people think of me writing out a bunch of NGs of One Piece? In case you don't know, an NG stands for 'No Good'. When you're filming a movie, for example, and you do a mistake, (a blooper?) then it becomes an NG and is excluded from the film. Watch any Jackie Chan movie (or Rush Hour) and you will know what I mean by an 'NG'. Anyhow, I was wondering - what if I wrote a bunch for One Piece? Will that make One Piece 'lose it's magic' if I write that out? It's just for the fun of it, see... so I don't think it will. So just to get some opinions, I'm posting up a few samples of what I mean by the 'NGs of OP'._**

BTW, I put in Rika-san as the director and Reins-san as just someone there... ^^;;; Sorry, I just thought it would be amusing to do that, but if Rika-san and Reins-san - if you have a lot of misgivings, please tell me, okay? ^^;;

Volume Two

  


Chapter Nine

**_Problem:_** Physical

(The scene where Nami is attempting to get Rufi to join with her)

**Nami:** Yeah! I'm a thief who steals from pirates. If we team up we could earn a whole lot!

(in the box) [Pirate Thief Nami!!]

**Rufi:** No way! I'm not interested in teaming up with you. (Rufi starts walking off.)

**Nami:** Hang on a second! 

(Nami jumps and falls flat on her face into the ground.)

**Rufi:** (suppressing a laugh) Are you okay?

**Nami:** (Her face still pressed into the dust) Shut up, okay? Just shut up!

  


_**Problem:** Techinical_

(The scene where Buggy gets mad at a pirate-member because he 'insulted his nose')

**Buggy:** Who am I!!!

**Guy:** Ehlk! B-..Buggy.... boss!... !!! Ca-... can't breath!!

**Pirates:** ...it's appeared! The powers of the devil fruit!

(Suddenly, the strings break and the guy falls to the ground.)

**Rika:** Cut!! 

**Buggy:** Hehe, literally.

(The other pirates snigger)

**Rika:** (shouting) You!! You stupid clown, just use your fruit's powers instead of wasting our valuable time here!!

**Buggy:** (taken back) B-b-but I'll get my hands dirty!!

**Rika:** ..... YOU'RE WEARING GLOVES!!!

  


_**Problem:** Lines_

(When Rufi and Nami are in a empty villager's house, and are talking about Nami's plan to go to the Grand Line.)

  


**TAKE ONE**

**Rufi:** Buy a village? A hundred million beri's quite a lot so you're going to have to steal from a lot of pirates...

**Nami:** I've got a plan!! See. This is the Grand Line Map I just stole! I'm going to... to... to... remember my lines?

  


**TAKE TWO**

**Rufi:** Buy a village? A hundred million beri's quite a lot so you're going to have to steal from a lot of pirates...

**Nami:** I've got a plan!! See. This is... uhm... uh...

**Rufi:** (whispers) The Grand Line Map.

**Nami:** (continues) The Grand Line Map I just stole! I'm going to ... to... uhm...

**Rufi:** (whispers) Steal.

**Nami:** --steal some treasure from this Buggy guy... then I'm going to...to, uh--

**Rufi:** (whispers) Go to the Grand Line.

**Nami:** Yes, I'm going to go to the Grand Line!! Then I'm going to steal from ... from what...?

**Rufi:** (whispers) Better pirates.

**Nami:** --Even greater pirates who carry much more treasure!! Whatcha think? Don't you... you... uhm...

**Rufi:** (whispers) Want to team up...

**Nami:** That's it -- don't you wanna team up and earn a bunch? You could show them... er... show them...

**Rufi:** Nami, I think we've been cut already.

**Nami:** (blushes as she asks the director) Have we?

**Rika:** (turns around as she drinks coffee) I'm sorry, what?

  


**TAKE THREE**

**Rufi:** Buy a village? A hundred million beri's quite a lot so you're going to have to steal from a lot of pirates...

**Nami:** I've got a plan!! See. This is the Buggy guy I just stole! Then I'm going to go to even greater pirates who carry much more treasure! So I'm going to steal from the Grand Line map. Don't you want to team up and show the load your power? You would earn a thought! So whatcha earn?

(Everyone, including Rufi, stares at Nami.)

**Nami:** What?!

**Rufi:** Nami, I think you should read through your lines again...

**Nami:** But I memorised the lines front to back and back to front!

**Rika:** That explains it. Memorise it front to back again please.

**Nami:** Geez, all I do was miss a dose of coffee and see the problems that arise?!!

  


_**Problem:** Physical/Ad-libbing_

(The scene where Nami has to tie up Rufi)

  


**TAKE ONE**

**Nami:** The bar the pirates are staying at is over there.

**Rufi:** But then? Whatcha wanna do here?

**Nami:** That,

**Rufi:** ... Eeng?

**Nami:** you'lll find out... (She pulls out the rope) When we get there! Stupid pirate.

(She successfully manages to wrap Rufi up in the ropes)

**Rufi:** Ehck! What are you doing?

**Nami:** I'm tying you up, that's what. I'm tying you up in ropes! Haha! ROPES! MWAHAHAHA! YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED!! MWAHAHAHAHA!! BWA---

**Rika:** Stop over-reacting!!

  


**TAKE TWO**

**Nami:** The bar the pirates are staying at is over there.

**Rufi:** But then? Whatcha wanna do here?

**Nami:** That,

**Rufi:** ... Eeng?

**Nami:** you'lll find out... (She pulls out the rope) When we get there! Stupid pirate.

(She wraps the rope around Rufi but accidentally pulls it back, spinning Rufi like a top)

**Nami:**(grins sheepishly)....whoops. Sorry, Rufi.

  


Chapter Ten

  


**_Problem:_** Rufi

(The scene where Rufi bites the bars of his cage)

**Rufi:** (gnashing his teeth against the bar) YAB! HEUB! (suddenly, he pulls back, his eyes in tears and his face looking stung.)

**Rika:** (alarmed) What's wrong?!

**Rufi:** Uh... 

**Rika:** Was there something sharp on the bar?!

**Rufi:** Uhm, no--

**Rika:** Did it burn you? Is it hot?!

**Rufi:** Er, not exactly--

**Rika:** Does it have paint on it? I told them not to paint it!

**Rufi:** No, it's just that, well...

**Rika:** WHAT IS IT THEN?!!

**Rufi:** It tastes bad.

**Rika:** (Rika hits him over the head with her main-script) BAKA!!

  


**_Problem:_** Speed

(The scene where Nami crouches in front of Rufi's cage - sort of to taunt him or help him understand, I'm not sure which.)

**Nami:** Don't worry, though, 'cause if my 'affairs' end up okay, I'll open the cage's lock and help you run away. Since I have nothing against you.

**Rufi:** Then open it now.

**Nami:** (Opening Rufi's lock) Sure, why not?

**Buggy:** Puhahahahahahahaha!!!

**Nami:** !!

**Buggy:** You've got yourself a pretty good follower there!! Thief boss!!

**Rufi:** Hah! Well, I'm out, and I'm back and I'm as good as ever, so go fly off, Buggy! (He casts his arms back) Gomu Gomu no BAZOOKA CANNON!!!!!! (He hits Buggy out of the ballpark) Followed by... Gomu Gomu no Lash!! (sweeps all of the remaining pirates out of the way) Hah! Haha! We win! (High fives Nami)

**Nami:** That was amazing!

**Rufi:** It was easy!

**Nami:** That was quick, wasn't it?

**Rufi:** Yeah!

**Rika:** (Tapping them both with a sweatdrop) Uh, guys? It's a bit too quick...

  


**_Problem:_** Prank

(The scene where Buggy blasts a cannon into a row of houses)

**TAKE ONE**

**Pirate(s):** The "Buggy Cannon Special" is ready!!

**Buggy:** Alright, show them! Show them it's power...!! (He grins)

(Nami and Rufi wear looks of shock)

**Nami+Rufi:** !!!

(Water-balloons pop out of the cannon and explode onto the floor)

**Nami:** Huh?

**Buggy:** (sarcastically) Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Reins.

**Reins:** (grinning) Isn't it?

  


**TAKE TWO**

**Pirate(s);** The "Buggy Cannon Special" is ready!!

**Buggy:** Alright, show them! Show them it's power...!! (He grins)

(Nami and Rufi wear looks of shock)

**Nami+Rufi:** !!!

(A cannon blasts out this time - but out of the wrong end. The Buggy pirate crew are buried in a pile of rubble.)

**Buggy:** (From the bricks) Reins, I will soooo whup your--

**Reins:** (singing) Ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies~ ...

  


*note* Reins-san knows that Buggy will be soon doing mean things to poor Zoro, so she's compensating for it.

  


**_Problem:_** Physical

(The scene where Nami has to shoot Rufi)

  


**TAKE ONE**

**Pirates:** Sho-ot! Sho-ot! Sho-ot! Sho-ot! Sho-ot! ~waaaah- waaaaah-~

**Nami:** ...Oh no...who'd've known something like this would happen... If I don't shoot this I'll definitely... die...!!

**Nami:** But even though that kid's a pirate... If I kill him recklessly, then there's no difference between me and a pirate!!!

**Rufi:** ..... 

**Buggy:** NAMI!!! Stop making us lose steam; just hurry up and light it!! ~shoot sho-ot!~

(Suddenly, the cannon end explodes and the cannon ball crashes into Rufi's cage. Rufi lets out a yell before being shot through several roofs.)

**Nami:** Uh... whoops. (calls out) Sorry Rufi!!

  


**TAKE TWO**

**Pirates:** Sho-ot! Sho-ot! Sho-ot! Sho-ot! Sho-ot! ~waaaah- waaaaah-~

**Nami:** ...Oh no...who'd've known something like this would happen... If I don't shoot this I'll definitely... die...!!

**Nami:** But even though that kid's a pirate... If I kill him recklessly, then there's no difference between me and a pirate!!!

**Rufi:** .....

**Buggy:** NAMI!!! Stop making us lose steam; just hurry up and light it!! ~shoot sho-ot!~

(Suddenly, the cannon end explodes and the cannon ball crashes into Rufi's cage. This time, it serves to open Rufi's cage. Rufi emerges unhurt.)

**Rufi:** Hahaha! I'm out, now! Now I can--

**Rika:** No, Rufi.

**Rufi:** But I--

**Rika:** That wasn't supposed to happen.

**Rufi:** But I wanna adlib!

**Rika:** I said no, Rufi.

**Rufi:** But--

**Rika:** No.

**Rufi:** (whines) But--!!

**Rika:** Rufi, no.

(Rufi pouts.)

**Rika:** Pouting's not going to work.

**Rufi:** (snaps fingers) Damn.

**** 

**Don't forget everyone, that this is NOT MY WORK!! All the credit goes to Rufi-Angel, and she knows who she is, and so do several other people on here.**

Rika's website is this: www.onepiece.baratie.com and its a bloody brilliant one too!

I was going to do it all tonight but the fomatting takes forever! So i'll post the next one 2moro! Hang on, i might get it done tonight! We'll find out!

PS - Rufiangel, if you didn't get the emails that i sent to you, send me an email, either to my email or if you don't know who i am, submit a review to yourself and i'll get in touch so that you know how to access everything. Luv Zor!


	3. NG2

**

The One Piece NGs: 2

**

(a ONE PIECE fanfiction by RufiAngel (website))

**_This is a continuation of the previous set of NGs ^^;; I thought they were pretty silly... >__ _**

Jaaaaaaa------- 

  
**** 

**_Problem:_** PMS?

(The scene where Nami is shocked at Rufi's words and isn't igniting the cannon because of it)

**Pirate:** Oi, new kid, stop wasting your effort. Guess you don't know how to ignite the cannon?

**Nami:** ! (Nami looks shocked)

**Pirate:** You put the light--

**Nami:** (suddenly angrily yelling) Darnit of course I know how to light a cannon!!! Hell, look!!!

(She strikes the match against the box and proceeds to light the string quickly and efficiently)

**Nami:** HAH! There!! Showed ya, didn't I? You think you're so smart because your'e a PIRATE, but I--

*BOOM*

(The cannon-ball blasts out and Rufi lets out a yell before being shot through several houses again)

**Nami:** ...oh. (laughs nervously) ....sorry?

  


**_Problem:_** Timing

(The scene where Nami stops the ignition with her bare hands)

  


**Nami:** !

**Cannon Ignition:** *crr-ack-le* *cra-c-k-le*

**Nami:** (grabbing the end of the ignition and squeezing it with her hands) Ahck!! 

**Cannon Ignition:** *cra-ck-le*

**Rufi:** ....you....!!

**Nami:** ...I...!!

**Rufi:** ....you're quite...!!

**Nami:** ...I think I'm...!!

**Rufi:** You're--

**Nami:** I'm--!!

**Rika:** Too late?

(Rufi lets out a yell before being shot through several chimneys yet again)

**Nami:** (despairingly yelling) I'm sorry Rufi!!! I really am!!!

**Rika:** (sighs and shakes her head) How many cannon-balls will we have gone through till the end of this day? Fifty?

  


**_Problem:_** Physical

(Buggy's hand soars through the air, and the scene cuts to an angle where the knife vaguely catches Rufi somewhere in head)

**Zorro:** Rufi!!

**Nami:** Ehck...

**Buggy:** OWWWWWW!!!!

**Rufi:** (spitting out Buggy's hand) Sorry, wasn't paying attention... (sheepishly) your hand okay?

**Buggy:** (howling) THOSE TEETH BREAK BLADES, YOU MORON!! BLADES!!

**Rufi:** Uhm, I just chewed your hand--

**Buggy:** (still howling) DO YOU KNOW THE PAIN OF TEETH GNASHING AGAINST YOUR FLESH?!!--

**Rufi:** That's it!!

(Rufi bursts out of cage, strides over to Buggy and grabs the front of his shirt and yells at the top of his lungs)

**Rufi:** WHO WAS CRASHING THROUGH FORTY DIFFERENT ROOFS TODAY WITH THE FORCE OF A CANNON WITHOUT ANY PROTECTION?!! YOU WERE WEARING GLOVES, DAMMIT!!! GLOVES!!!

(He tosses Buggy aimlessly over the roof and stomps towards the stairs)

**Rika:** Hey hey hey! Where you going?

**Rufi:** (seethes) AND THE GLOVES DON'T EXACTLY TASTE LIKE HEAVEN YOU KNOW!!!

**Rika:** RUFI!! Where are you GOING?!!

**Rufi:** (still seething) AND I'VE BEEN SHOOTING 24/7 LATELY!! HARDLY ANY SLEEP!! NO MEAT FOR DAYS, YOU HEAR ME?!! DAYS!!

(Rufi disappears still yelling down the stairs)

**Rika:** ...uhm.... should I...?

**Zoro:** Don't bother. He's dangerous at the moment.

**Rika:** (sighs, tapping the main-script on her temple) Great. Do we wait until he comes back now?

**Nami:** Gee, now I feel kinda bad for blasting him two times in a row--

**Zoro+Rika:** Three.

**Nami:** (turning red)--and you guys are sure helping to ease the guilt!!

  


**Rika:** Great, since Rufi's gone at the moment, we might as well shoot Buggy's next 'speech' for now.

  


**_Problem:_** Absence

.....

.....

....?

**Rika:** Hey, waitaminute... where's Buggy?!!

(Buggy is sunken deep into the ground where Rufi threw him earlier on)

**Buggy:** (calls out from the deep cracks) I'm here!

**Rika:** Hell, get your butt up here RIGHT now, Buggy!!

**Buggy:** (still in the ground, mumbled singing) Nobody likes me, everybody hates me--

**Rika:** (yells) What was that?!!

**Buggy:** Aww shucks, I'm coming, I'm coming!!

  


**Rika:** Look guys, we've got problems.

**Nami:** What is it?

**Rika:** Well, Rufi's missing. So we've got to use a substitute....

  


_**Problem:** Various_

(The scene where Rufi is supposed to tell Zoro to 'run away')

  


**_Problem:_** Concentration

  


**TAKE ONE**

(Zoro looks at the steel cage, in which a dummy sits. The head of the dummy bobs up and down on a spring.)

**Dummy:** .......*bob* *bob*

**Zorro:** (over-reactively) What!?

**Dummy:** .......*bob* *bob*

**Zoro:** (gasps) You want me to run away?!

**Dummy:** .......*bob* *bob*

**Nami:** H-Hey... your friend came to r-rescue you in f-f-first pl-place, 

**Dummy:** .......*bob* *bob*

**Nami:** (stifles a giggle) b-but you're t-t-telling him to run away...!!!

**Zoro:** No, he's telling me to bob bob bob.

**Nami:** .... (looks at Zoro)

**Zoro:** .... (looks at Nami)

(The two burst out laughing, leaning on each other for support as Rika sighs, but clearly suppressing a smile)

**Rika:** Cut! We'll have to scratch the dummy...

  


**_Problem:_** Lines/Ad-libbing

  


**TAKE TWO**

(Zoro turns to look at a pirate wearing a straw-hat, red shirt and blue shorts with sandals.)

**Rufi-substitute:** (screaming on the top of his lungs) Run, Zorro, run! C'mon, I know you can do it! Run! Ruuuuunnnnnnn!!!!!

**Rika:** CUUUUTTT!!!!!

  


**TAKE THREE**

(Zoro turns to look at another pirate wearing similar attire)

**Rufi-substitute:** (over-dramatically) Go on, Zoro, while you still can! I'm... (starts to cough) not going to make it!

**Rika:** CUT!! This is One Piece for flipping sake!! Who asked you to transform it to the last episode of Sailormoon?!!

  


Buggy: Hey, I think I see Rufi coming back.

**Zoro+Nami+Rika:** THANK GOD!!!

  


**_Problem:_** Physical

(The scene where Zoro lifts Rufi's cage - as submitted by Roz-san ^^*)

**Zorro:** No, it's okay. You stay in the cage!!

**Buggy:** Dammit I'm not gonna let them escape! (coughs)

**Zorro:** Yarghh....!!

**Rufi:** Look, Zorro, it's okay! Your insides are gonna pop out.

**Zorro:** If it wants to pop out, then let it!

**Nami:** Hey...!!

(Zoro confidently strides over to the cage and begins to pull. After straining and sweating for a couple of minutes, however, he gives up, leaning against the cage as he wipes his sweaty forehead)

**Zoro:** Dammit Luffy, when the flip are you going to lose some bloody weight?? And Rika!! I thought you said the cage was going to be made from lighter stuff than steel? I mean, you expect ME to LIFT STEEL??

**Rika:** ....

**Zoro:**What??

**Rika:** Okay, in the gym, 2000 pushups, now.

**Zoro:** What?!! But--!!

**Rika:** NOW.

**Zoro:** Women, all they ever... (mutters as he goes off in general direction of the gym and vaults over the building roof)

**** 

**And thats all that Rufi-Angel has done! So everybody thats read this, send in a review and tell Rufi-Angel, how much you want her to write up some more!!**

People that don't like it, address your reviews to Zor, after all, if anything is wrong with it, then its my fault. Good - Rufiangel, Bad - Zor, Understand?

Sign a review and maybe together we can convince Rufi-angel to do some more!!


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